And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
These tits shall not be calmed
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
