nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
