On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
