How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Who wears a wallet chain?!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
