i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
