FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
