How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
