What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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