That's intense
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
