i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
