Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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