I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
