Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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