I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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