yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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