let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
