so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
