wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
