why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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