I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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