I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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