I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
