She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
