Cold hands, warm shart.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
