so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
