Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
