Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
