So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
