I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
