Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
