Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
