Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Dicks are not precious.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
