If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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