Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
