Small penises have feelings too.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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