I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
