Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
