So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
