it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish you could order shots online.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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