Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we're making bets on your personal life
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
