is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
