turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
