The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
