just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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