the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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