Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
