I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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