mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
