my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
