how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
